


round trip

by xol (firetruck)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-09 07:49:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7793023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firetruck/pseuds/xol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luhan's affair with Minseok lasts precisely two weeks before they return to their own lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. habit

**Author's Note:**

> if you go your way and i go mine, are we really so helpless against the tide?
> 
> baby, every dog on this street knows we're in love.

Minseok thinks this is a bad idea. No, he /knows/ this is a bad idea. An uneasy feeling settles in the pit of his stomach as he watches Yixing eat. 

“Let’s just get a hotel room,” he presses, fingers tapping nervously against the table. He carefully gauges Yixing’s reaction, knowing his boyfriend has a viciously stubborn streak.

“It’s just two weeks,” Yixing mumbles into his soup, some of it dribbling onto his chin. Minseok reflexively reaches over with a napkin and dabs at the spill. 

“Two weeks we could spend in a hotel. Comfortably.” 

“I hear Luhan has a nice place, though.” 

Minseok presses his lips together and folds the dirty napkin in half. 

“You know that’s not the point.” 

“Don’t you think it’ll be nice to see him again? I’ll be at the shelter the entire time anyways. They’re really busy with the new project—that’s why they need me to fly over. I don’t want you to sit in the hotel waiting for me all day.” 

Minseok folds the napkin in half again. 

“I can go shopping or something.” 

“It’s safer if you have someone with you.” 

Minseok forces the napkin square to bend in half again. 

“Are you saying my Chinese isn’t good enough?” 

“I’m saying that I really think you need to do this. Talk to him. Minseok, I know it’s hard. But I really, /really/ think this will be good. For both of you.” 

Yixing nudges his empty bowl away and gently takes one of Minseok’s hands. He squeezes it, thumb brushing circles onto the back of his lover’s hand, and Minseok sighs, slumping into his chair. Their unspoken bond of trust lingers in the air, and Minseok knows this isn’t easy for Yixing either. The napkin springs open as he lets go, and some of the tension slips from his shoulders. Minseok slides his gaze to meet Yixing’s, traces of a frown lingering on his face as he exhales with more force than needed. 

“Fine. But if it’s awkward I’m so out of there.”

Beaming, Yixing gets up to place a kiss at Minseok’s temple before scooping up his bowl and bringing it to the kitchen to wash. As soon as he’s gone, Minseok presses the heels of his hands to his eyes and tries to squash the oncoming migraine. 

* * *

Yixing works at an animal shelter. Well, technically, he owns it, but he’s always held himself on the same level as his employees and puts in more hours than anyone else. And technically, it’s not just some random animal shelter. It’s one of the biggest chains, with branches located in both China and South Korea. It’s his life’s passion, his blood, sweat, and tears, so it goes without saying that he’s going to personally oversee the renovations of the Beijing branch and inevitably end up doing half the work himself. 

It also goes without saying that he’s bringing Minseok with him. Just not for all the right reasons. But there’s always a next time, he rationalizes. A next time where he can spend his time showing Minseok around his home country and stuffing him with all the delicacies and street food China has to offer. A next time, in the near future hopefully, where Minseok’s eyes don’t go glassy when he sees or hears something that reminds him of Luhan.

Yixing is not a fool. He knows of Minseok’s first love, just as Minseok knows about his. And he knows that Luhan’s presence still lingers inside of Minseok. It happens at the oddest moments, but Yixing notices, because he tends to notice everything about Minseok. Because whenever Minseok’s eyes glaze over with a memory of Luhan, Yixing is there to gently guide him back down to Earth, as if Minseok is a balloon that simply floats off into the sky if not grounded. 

Speaking of grounded, Yixing snaps back to reality as he hears Minseok rattle off Luhan’s address in Chinese to the taxi driver. He piles the luggage into the trunk with the help of the driver, and slips into the back seat to loop an arm around Minseok’s shoulder. Minseok leans his head on Yixing’s shoulder, tired from the flight, and dozes off as the city around him darkens. 

Two hours later, Minseok is being shaken awake and he automatically brings a hand up to swipe at the small dribble of drool leaking out of his mouth, embarrassed. He quickly counts the amount of money they owe the driver as Yixing goes to unload the trunk. Dipping his head in a slight bow, he climbs out of the backseat and slips the bills to the driver, who speeds off into the night. 

His hand finds Yixing’s naturally, and he’s given another reassuring squeeze as they shuffle into the lobby of a high rise building where Luhan supposedly lives. A security guard waves them into the elevator after they check in, and Minseok forgets to ask which floor Luhan is on. 

“Seven!” The guard yells, just before the elevator doors slide shut. 

Minseok feels his hands begin to sweat. The ride up to the seventh floor of the high rise apartment building in China where Luhan lives has officially made it onto his list of Worst Elevator Experiences Ever. He stiffens when the elevator’s ding indicates they’ve arrived and Yixing has to practically drag him /and/ his luggage to Luhan’s door. 

The doorbell is pressed and for a brief moment, Minseok considers bolting and hopping on the next flight back to Korea, but resigns himself to staying when he hears someone unlocking the door. 

Luhan’s head pops out from behind the door, and even though Minseok thought he was prepared, he still feels his heart jump. He feels silly and a little like a child, so he bumps Yixing slightly and fixes a small smile on his face. 

“Minseok! Yixing! You’re an hour early—why didn’t I get a text? You know I wouldn’t have minded picking you guys up from the airport myself.” Luhan jumps into an introduction smoothly, save for the extra second he lets himself linger on Minseok. Opening the door wide, he pulls both of them into a hug at the same time and ignores the laced fingers hanging in between them. 

“We wanted to surprise you,” Yixing smiles, letting go of his suitcase to return the hug with one arm. “Right, Min?” 

“Right! Thank you for letting us stay, Luhan.” Minseok says, without stumbling over his words, and Luhan nods, lifting his bags and gesturing for them to come inside. 

“It’s not much, but make yourselves at home. Guest bedroom is down the hall, bathroom is right next to it, you know the drill.” 

Yixing claps his hands together, looking around the apartment in awe. 

“Have you done some redecorating? This is amazing, Han. Better than any hotel. And to think—“ Yixing stops mid sentence when Minseok prods him not-so-subtly in the stomach. He smiles sheepishly before continuing. “Too bad I won’t be able to fully raid your kitchen this time. I’m going to be gone for pretty much the entire two weeks……there’s a lot of work to do at the shelter. Lots of work…” Yixing trails off, trying to mentally visualize the list of things to do in his head. It’s extremely long. He’s on the tenth thing when Minseok grabs his elbow and steers him towards the guest bedroom, rolling his eyes. 

“Luhan, I think we’re gonna turn in for the night. Yixing has to be up early.” 

Luhan glances at the digital clock on his wall. 8:23 PM. 

“Sure. Breakfast tomorrow?” 

“That would be great. Anything is fine. Oh, but do you—“

“And two cups of coffee.” Luhan grins and Minseok stops in his tracks to look back at him, the first real smile of the night tugging at his lips. 

“Thank you.” 

He pulls Yixing into the guest bedroom along with their luggage and shuts the door quietly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i already have three (3) other xiuhan stories in the works (plus a yixing centric exo-m spy au) and yet i go ahead and do...whatever this is 
> 
> unbeta'd so please forgive any mistakes  
> this will probably be a two/three-shot  
> sorry for the boring first chapter, just trying to set everything up
> 
> i need more wine to finish this i s2g


	2. fly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is the way that we love (like it's forever)  
> then live the rest of our lives (but not together)

“You’re kidding.” Minseok grins, skirting to the left of the sidewalk to let a businessman glued to his phone barrel between him and Luhan. 

Luhan raises a brow and puts on his best serious face, which really only serves to make him look kind of constipated.

“Do I look like I’m kidding?” 

Minseok purses his lips in an attempt to keep his laughter in, but Luhan’s bottom lip is trembling too and suddenly they’re both bursting into laughter in the middle of the walkway and causing a ruckus that blends in perfectly with the busy background noise of the city. 

It’s been three days since Yixing had shown up on Luhan’s doorstep with Minseok in tow, and since then they’ve gotten over the initial awkwardness of it all and it no longer seemed like Minseok had any intention of getting “so out of there”. In all honesty, it was easier than he thought. Slipping back into Luhan’s life and vice versa was so easy and natural that it scared him, just a little bit. 

Yixing was nowhere to be seen after the first night, as he had predicted, which left Minseok alone with Luhan. And one cup of coffee later, they were talking animatedly, almost as if they hadn’t broken each other’s heart five years ago. Even after all this time, Luhan was still (mostly) the same, save for the tiny crinkles around his eyes becoming more prominent. But Minseok was pleased to see this, for it meant that Luhan had laughed a lot in his absence. And he seemed so carefree now, so free with his smiles, so familiar, and so happy that Minseok let his guard down. 

Maybe this time would be different. He could reconnect with Luhan, as friends. 

“What do you think?” Luhan’s voice cuts into his thoughts, and without thinking, he replies. 

“Sounds good—wait, what did I just agree to?” 

“To marrying me.”   
  
Minseok balks, almost spilling the iced coffee in his hands. Luhan laughs and holds up a pair of shoes.

“I’m just kidding! I was asking about these kicks. I can’t believe you still space out so much.” 

“Not funny, Luhan,” Minseok huffs, but there’s really no bite to his statement. “And really? Who even calls shoes kicks anymore? Seriously, get with the times.” 

“Fine, then I guess I won’t buy them for you!”

“You—Oh, come on!” Minseok splutters, rolling his eyes. “Like I need you to buy things for me. I’m waiting outside.” 

He hears Luhan calling for him but exits the store anyways, leaning against the glass and smiling to himself. A small part of him feels guilty—guilty for smiling around Luhan so much, for letting himself relive the old days. But this is what he came here for, so he pushes those thoughts to the back of his mind and focuses on the giddiness still knocking around in his insides, doing his best to turn a blind eye to everything that could go wrong.

Two days later, he’s sitting on the hood of Luhan’s sports car parked on a hill and holding his hand. The city below them is still illuminated brightly even as the sun slowly sinks below the horizon. Beijing is a city that never really sleeps, after all. 

In all honesty, he thinks the city must be doing something funny to his head because one week ago, there was no way in hell he would ever willingly hold Luhan’s hand and watch the sunset together. It feels right, though (not that he even knows what’s right and what’s wrong anymore). Their hands, more calloused than before, still fit perfectly into each other, and Minseok feels like a teenager again, floating away and getting high on the feeling of Luhan’s lips on his. 

“Minseok?” 

He turns his head when Luhan whispers his name and sends bursts of electricity dancing along his spine. 

“Yeah?”

“I’m gonna ask you a question. Don’t freak out on me, alright? And don’t lie.” 

He almost freaks out right on the spot, because it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what’s coming next. Forcing himself to keep eye contact with Luhan, he plays dumb and nods. 

“Do you still love me?”

“Yes.” 

There is no hesitation, and Luhan is taken aback. He thought he would have to try harder to get Minseok to answer. Time seems to slow down around him as he squeezes Minseok’s hand. 

“Are you still in love with me?” 

“Yes,” Minseok admits, barely above a whisper, sounding like a guilty child caught red-handed stealing from the cookie jar. He looks a bit sad as he replies, Luhan thinks, or is it just a trick of the shadows? 

Luhan scoots closer to Minseok and brings his free hand up to cup his face. Minseok leans into the touch slightly and Luhan’s heart does a flip. He swallows roughly and his eyes dart down to Minseok’s lips.

“Can I?”

Minseok almost says yes, almost leans forward and presses his lips against Luhan’s, but he remembers what happened five years ago and he remembers Yixing and suddenly he doesn’t want to be floating away anymore. He clutches at Luhan’s arm, trying to ground himself as his throat closes up and his face contorts into a pained expression. He shakes his head, scrunching up the fabric of the expensive shirt Luhan is wearing as he falls into him. Luhan’s arms automatically wrap themselves around him, bringing him even closer. Fingers run through his hair as Luhan mentally kicks himself, and time resumes, crashing back down around them. 

“I’m still in love with you, Kim Minseok,” Luhan whispers into Minseok’s hair, and it sounds like an apology.

Luhan closes his eyes, bitterness churning in his stomach.

* * *

Minseok falls asleep on the ride home, and Luhan carries him up the elevator and into the guest bedroom. It’s late, and it doesn’t seem like Yixing is coming home tonight (he’s probably staying on a cot in the shelter again). Quietly, Luhan works Minseok’s shoes off his feet and sets them at the foot of the bed. When he turns to tuck him in, he finds himself staring into his eyes instead. Minseok looks guilty again, and Luhan gives him a small smile. 

“How long have you been awake?”  
  
“Since we got back.”

A stretch of silence follows before Minseok sits up and wiggles his toes, looking a little less guilty as he peeks up at Luhan through his eyelashes. 

“I pretended to still be asleep so you’d carry me up.”

It takes every ounce of self control for Luhan to stay still. 

“I know.” 

Minseok tucks himself in, leaving a space between himself and the edge of the bed, and Luhan slips under the covers to fill that space without a second thought. 

“Is this okay?” He mumbles as he pulls Minseok into his arms, not really caring if it is or not.

There’s no response, and he quickly falls asleep to the familiar rise and fall of Minseok’s breathing—but not before a kiss, as gentle as a feather, is pressed against his jawline.

* * *

“You know, if you keep teasing me, I’ll just come back for more.” 

Minseok hums in response, leaning against Luhan’s shoulder and ignoring him in favor of the TV. He’s leaving in a few days, and he wants to make the most of his time. He can feel the tension rising—the same tension that’s been building up for over a week and threatening to surface at any moment. 

“I’m serious, Min. I mean, this is crazy. Aren’t we doing exactly what Yixing was afraid of happening? Falling in love again?” 

“I never fell out of love,” he says softly. Luhan sighs and struggles between knocking some sense into him and kissing him.

“I never did either.” He settles for neither. 

“We parted on a mutual agreement,” Minseok says, like it makes a difference now.

“It wasn’t a mutual agreement.”  
  
“Because you regretted it.”  
  
“And you didn’t?”

The drama playing on the television is lowered to a murmur, and Minseok realizes Luhan is staring at him with an unreadable expression. 

“..No. I don’t. We can never be happy together. You know that, don’t you?” 

“But we can never be happy without each other,” Luhan counters, feeling his own sense of reason fly out the door. 

“Yes, we can,” Minseok says, firmly. Then his gaze softens. “Just not completely. But it’s better than an endless cycle of what we had before. You’ll do or say something stupid, I’ll avoid you, we’ll pretend everything’s okay, then we’ll fight. Rinse and repeat. I can’t live like that. Not again.”

“So is that it? I can’t make you happy all the time, so you don’t even want to try?” 

Minseok wants to punch him in the face for saying that.

“No. You do make me happy. You make me so happy, but you also make me so sad. And it’s the same for you. At some point you’ll get tired again, tired of having your entire life revolve around me. Don’t look at me like that—you know I’m right. Because it’s suffocating for me, too.” 

“It doesn’t have to be like that.”   
  
“How do you think this will end, Luhan? You’ll ask me to stay and I’ll say yes, breaking Yixing’s heart, and we’ll be happy for what? A few weeks, few months, maybe. Is it really worth it?”

Luhan doesn’t tell Minseok that he’s shouting as he leans his forehead against his, running his hands through his hair to calm him down. 

“Everything is worth it when it comes to you, Minseok,” he says quietly. 

“It’s not easy,” comes the choked up reply. “Making a choice isn’t easy. I want to love you, Luhan. But I can’t leave Yixing. I’ve worked so hard to find myself, to become Minseok again, the Minseok without Luhan. If I stay…I’ll lose myself again. We both will.”

“What if I don’t want to be Luhan without Minseok?”

“That’s not your choice to make.” 

A familiar anxiety tugs at his gut, the anxiety of losing Minseok again. Without thinking, he presses their lips together, urgency and desperation surfacing. Minseok wants to pull away, but he doesn’t. Luhan has never been good with words, but there’s nothing left to say now anyways, so he lets himself be kissed silly knowing it’s the last intimate moment they’ll ever share together. 

Lips red and chest burning with an old flame, he feels his heart breaking all over again as Luhan cries into his shoulder. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really wonder if i'll ever be free of these two sometimes
> 
> p.s. guys...lotto.....im so emotional.. scream with me


	3. landing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you can't always get what you want  
> but if you try sometimes, you just might find   
> you get what you need

Yixing spends most of the plane ride home gently snoring, but Minseok wakes him up when the stewardess brings around a meal. He cracks open the window halfway to let light in and they eat in silence until Yixing gives him a sleepy smile, handing him a slice of buttered toast. 

“How are you feeling?” 

“Tired,” he admits, “but not as much as you. You look exhausted.” 

Minseok brushes Yixing’s sleep-tossed bangs out of his face, keeping his voice low. 

“How was Luhan?” 

Minseok chokes a little on his orange juice. Yixing rubs his back until he’s ready to speak.

“Same as five years ago,” he finally replies. “Like nothing changed.”

“Is that good or bad?”

“Hm…both, I guess.” 

Yixing hums in response and pushes his eggs around a bit.

“Will you be okay?” He asks after awhile and immediately shoves a french toast stick into his mouth before he can ask, “Will we be okay?”

Minseok reflexively reaches out with a napkin to wipe the crumbs from the edge of Yixing’s mouth, folding the napkin in half once he’s done with it. He turns to look at him again, and Yixing is sitting there with his mouth stuffed with toast, looking tired, hopeful, and just a little ridiculous all at the same time. 

Minseok thinks he looks beautiful. 

“Yes. I’ll be okay.” He pauses for a beat. “Will you?” He looks down before he can ask, “Will we be okay?”

Yixing laughs, a little too loud (the passenger in front of them turns around and sends him a glare), and answers Minseok with a kiss.

* * *

“So, this is it.” Luhan rocks back and forth on his heels, fingers tapping against the door frame. 

“This is it,” Minseok affirms, double checking that he has all his suitcases with him. And before Luhan can say something stupid, he cuts him off. “Don’t worry. We’ll be okay.” 

Luhan offers a wry smile. “Yeah. I’ll live.”

Minseok nods. “I should go. Yixing is waiting downstairs.”

“Okay,” Luhan says, standing up straighter. “Got all your stuff?”

“Yeah. It’s all here.”

Luhan looks down at his feet as Minseok gathers his things and walks down the hallway, calling out to him at the last minute.

“Wait!” He opens his arms. “Hug? Before you leave?”

Minseok walks all the way back, rolling his eyes. He wraps his arms around Luhan securely and whispers in his ear. 

“Goodbye, Luhan.” 

Luhan squeezes once before letting go.

“Goodbye for now, Kim Minseok,” he replies, a smile dancing on his lips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a lot shorter but i think that's okay  
> either way, it is complete...i have finished! whew
> 
> thank you for reading. <3


End file.
